Just Say NO!

Have you ever been inundated with requests from family, friends, co-workers, schoolmates, or random people you meet on the side of the road even?  I've had that issue lately.  Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE being able to help those around me; however, it's taken a toll lately.  I've realized that me doing everything for everyone else has led ME to slack off on my own responsibilities.  I've learned that I need to learn how to say that 2-letter word…what is it again…oh yeah, NO!

Now, most people may think that saying no to all those requests I get may be easy…BUT if you're like me (and think you can do it all) then you know saying no is just plain hard.  It makes me feel as though I've failed for some reason.  Yes, weird way to feel when it's not even your responsibility in the first place but its how I feel.  Some may say its the OCD need to be in control, which I don't deny, and others may just think I'm plain crazy.  Either way you put it, there's a reason I have an issue saying no and I'm trying to find what that is.

My question to you (whoever you may be, is anyone reading this?  HELLO…??) is….do you have issues saying no?  If so, how do you deal with the requests to help?  Do I need to learn how to prioritize better?  Do I need to say no to every other request?  What are your ideas??


Now let me leave you with these pictures to emphasize my crisis….

(http://zodiacchic.tumblr.com/tagged/capricorn/page/8)

(http://sumikomaser.wordpress.com/2011/04/28/too-much-of-yes/)

(http://vdoblog.net/)

Online Dating … Are you there Mr. Right?

Dating is just awful if you're in your late 20's.  There, I said it and I stand by my assessment.

You're no longer in school (or if you're like me and started school late, then all the guys are 8-10yrs younger than you), so no more fishing from that pond.  Bars are just not the place to "pick-up" or be "picked-up" unless you're just looking for that one-night stand.   And the blind-dates...oh just STOP!  No, I don't want to meet your friends brothers best friend ... I think we met before, he was a douche.

So now where do you turn?  Online dating?  Sure, why not.

I've been an avid online dater since it before it was "the thing" to do.  I can remember being in High School and getting chatted up in an AOL chat room….either I was naïve about the dangers or there really weren't any back then since it was a fairly new medium….and then me and my friends meeting up with the guys we chatted with at the movies or the mall.  It was always fun and a great way to meet guys from other schools, just to see what else was out there.  Even now, I'm on a few dating websites and it's just as fun to meet some guys at times to see what else is out there…lol.  BUT … is it actually going to help me find Mr. Right or even Mr. Right Now?

See, the thing with online dating that I've noticed is that it just seems to be a way for a person to inflate their personal resumé/bio and showcase pictures of themselves from years ago.  It's such a disappointment when you meet a person in real life and realize that the picture they had as their profile pic had to of been from at least 5 years ago.

I've been on several different sites over the past few years:

• Match
• PlentyofFish
• eHarmony
• ChristianSingle
• okCupid

…just to name a few, and I seem to encounter the same issue at every one….a profile that highlights all of their greatness and pictures that don't resemble them anymore.  Can we call this false advertising??  I think that there has to be a solution to this problem.  A simple one, too.

Enter in….Video bios.  Seriously.  No joke.  Why not make a 2 min video highlighting who you are, or even better…have it as a compilation of your friends assessments on you.  Who better to try to help you find that special someone then your closest friends and family.  They know you better than you know yourself even, most likely.  I don't know…I just think this would be something to look into.  Do they offer this anywhere already??

I'm just tired of it all….dating in general sucks sometimes.  Maybe I'm just being bitter but I just wish that there was a site that would stand out and revolutionize online dating.  Now, don't get me wrong….I'll continue using these sites but Mr. Right….are you there???

Taking the Plunge…sort of.

I've taken the plunge, in a sense. Do you know someone who is the "go-to" person in your circle of friends for advice, the shoulder to lean on, or even gives you that slap in the face dose of reality? Well…that's me in a nutshell. I'm always dishing out stuff to my friends and family, whether they ask or not(sorry!!!). Yet, I hardly ever take my own advice or put my tips into practical use. Now it stops. I'm taking the plunge and will start living what I preach.

Okay…I know, I know. Crap. If I couldn't do this already, how am I supposed to start now. Well, I've thought it out and have a plan. (Come on now, if you know me, you know that I plan out everything just about. I'm a crazy organized freak.) The plan starts with me not making any changes to be honest. I've realized that every time I try to change something with my life, it always goes awry. I try to change everything instantly and it never works. So, this time around, I'm not changing. Instead, I'm going to think.

Yup. I said it. No changes but more thinking. Make sense?

By thinking about the changes I want to make, I'm slowly able to change without even realizing it. The entire process of how I do certain things just balances out. It's weird but it works for me. I've thought a lot out recently:

• losing weight
• starting up my own business/writing a blog
• being less of a procrastinator
• and of course…relationships

As for the results:

• I've lost over 40lbs in the past 9 months
• started my own business/blog
• and currently I've started to think over the procrastination/relationship aspects in my life.

By thinking over these items, I let myself reevaluate what's important, make smarter decisions, and have lasting results.  The change happens naturally.  Each of these are areas I've always want to change in myself.  I tried every which way to change too.  Ask my mom about my weight, my friends about my business/blog ramblings, coworkers/classmates about my procrastination, and all of my exes about me in a relationship (ouch!).  I've said it over and over again…I WILL CHANGE…and I did change, for a bit.  It just never stuck, until now…I hope.

Thinking.  Not changing.  Take the plunge and think more!!!

       July 2011                November 2011

April 2012